“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!”

I can remember saying that many times as a kid growing up. I’m sure most of you can too.  Truth is, it’s a lie.  Sticks and stones may break bones, but broken bones heal.  Words can do much, much worse.  Words can break hearts.  Words can ruin friendships, relationships, and marriages.  Words can leave wounds that never heal and scars that never go away.

So why is it so easy for us to be so hurtful with the things we say? And why are our hurtful words so often directed at the people we love the most?

Scripture contains much about the evil the tongue can cause.

“Your tongue devises destruction, like a sharp razor, O worker of deceit.” Psalm 52:2

“A lying tongue hates those it crushes, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” Proverbs 26:28

The first part of James, Chapter 3, provides several analogies that show how powerful the tongue can be in controlling and influencing our lives. Verse 3 compares it to a bit in a horse’s mouth, commanding its whole body.  Verse 4 likens it to the rudder of a ship, guiding the vessel wherever the captain desires. Verses 6-8 describe the tongue as “…a fire…an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

It is important that we realize the great power of our words. We have the ability to encourage and inspire with our words, but when we use them carelessly or negatively, we damage others as well as ourselves. Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

In stressful situations or moments of anger, oftentimes we say things we don’t really mean. We react with the first thing that comes to our mind, completely ignoring the effect our quick-witted retort may have on its recipient.  James 1:19-20 tells us to “…be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”  This is much easier said than done for most of us.  However, with God’s help, we can learn to be obedient to this command.

Ask God to help you whenever you speak. In the heat of the moment, a split-second prayer can reconnect you with the Holy Spirit, preventing you from saying something you may regret for the rest of your life